Living la vida married.

You ever have that date that went bad? You're dropping her off at her place, but she refuses to get out? For whatever reasons, she's mad and needs to explain why it's not "Ok" to play the quiet game during a meal togher.

Man, my old car was rank of stale perfume and the sleazy women spit from "Nuh uh, no you di ain't!"

But eventually, she'll get out...even if it takes a helping foot.

Marriage is not like this.

There is no cave of bachelorhood safety. You cannot, and will not, be left alone.

you WILL listen, you WILL understand.

For the record, marriage is great. But when she gets that look in her eye I go straight to "I'm sorry" just to shorten the car ride of fighting hell.

'Cuz....she's not getting out.

I have so much to do, and so little time to get it done.

The life of a bachelor...i will miss you.

:phil:
Phil

God, you'd think with the entire Yahoo facilities at my disposal, I'd find something to do.

But no. I am here instead, whining about my dreary work life.

It's not so bad, though....at least I'm getting paid.

I remember what it was like in school. Bored...nothing to do...and no money.

So at least i have one of those 3 things down. Now to conquer the world...where'd I put my cheesy poofs.

Look, i have an icon



isn't it cool? Well, I haven't actually seen it yet, but I'm trusting Roy would not name a lame smiley after me. it should have horns, an evil smirk, and be hung like a horse.



hm...

Today my commute to work was doubled. I was so pissed off I was listening to KFOG (easy listening) just to keep my blood pressure down. Then I heard this:

"Today at Lockheed Martin there will be a protest from 6am, where they will be attempting to block all entrances"

JOY! They'll be doing wonderfully productive activities like:

Dance the chain!

1) Human Chain -
I wish this were an interpretive dance about BDSM, because that would be at least fun to watch. But in fact, they'll be holding hands and creating a barrier so that other people will be just like them:

Not working

2) "dead" in -
I wish I were making this up. They'll be lying in the wet streets to reinact all the dead Iraqis that were made...uh..lying and dead...in wet streets... by the hands of Lockheed Martin.

I call it, "Operation Human Speed Bump"

When I get mad I get a little...how do you say, stupid. But in a funny way.

I parked my car and walked back to the nearest corner of protestors. I walked to a group of 'em sitting on the ground in a circle. They were sitting with their signs over their shoulders and chanting stuff on the intellectual level of "hey batta batta batta, sawiiing batta."

I pushed my way in and sat down. Here's the conversation. Where's a camera when you need one?

me, "Sup guys? Where can I get some pachuli up in here?"
girl from forrest gump, "We're fighting the machine of the fascist government!"
me, "Yeah, just say 'no' to Yahoo!™"
her, "no, we're blocking the entrance to Lockheed."
me, "you're also blocking the entrance to Yahoo!™ Free Email for Everyone!"
her, "Well, we didn't mean to- "
me, "The internet is meant to be free! Hack the planet!!"

The nearby cops were giggling, I got up and goose stepped it back to work where I am now. Warm. With coffee. And free internet.

I love protesting.

I'm not a smart man but I know what a shower is.